Things That Made a Bigger Difference Than I Expected
June 12, 2026
When I hit midlife, I didn't hit my stride. I hit a brick wall.
The things that had worked for me in the past weren't working anymore. So instead of chasing outcomes, I started focusing on something else entirely: the conditions.
For a long time, I was able to make a change through one big decision or action. It would look like a new diet or workout plan, a New Year’s resolution or burst of motivation. But over the last few years, that stopped working. I’ve mentioned this before, and I’ll probably say it again, but when I hit midlife, I didn’t hit my stride, I hit a brick wall. Things that had worked for me in the past, whether for maintaining my weight, managing stress, or simply feeling good in my own skin, weren't working the way they once had.
But then, about a year ago – somewhere in the spring to summer of 2025 – I started making some small changes in my daily routine, and they were the ones that had the most impact… an impact that was bigger (and better) than I had expected.
After a few years of frustration with my changing body (especially my stubborn meno-belly, if I’m being honest), I realized something important. My frustration was not only not helping, it was probably making things worse. So instead of focusing on the outcome, I started focusing on the things I could actually control: the habits, routines, and daily choices that supported my body regardless of what the scale said. Within a few months, those small changes started to make a noticeable difference, and a new philosophy emerged: focus on the conditions and let the outcomes take care of themselves.
Most of the things that made the biggest difference were simple, meaningful and easily repeatable. They weren't dramatic, didn't happen overnight, and certainly weren't magic. They were small shifts that I repeated often enough that they started changing how I felt.
So here they are: a few of the conditions that have helped me feel healthier, calmer, and more like myself.
Walking More
I know. Not exactly groundbreaking. You were expecting some sort of secret sauce, weren't you?
But regular walks have helped me more than almost anything else. Not just because they burn calories but because they help clear my head. Walks remind me that fresh air and movement are powerful tools for regulating my nervous system. Some days, they’re leisurely strolls. Other days they are brisk and invigorating. Either way, they are so good for my body and soul. Some of my best ideas, prayers, and perspective shifts have happened while walking – and my knees like it better this way, too.
Eating More Protein… and Fiber
Admittedly, this one feels like it took me far longer to figure out than it should have. For years, I focused on what I needed to eat less of. But at some point, I started focusing on what I needed to eat more of. I’m no registered dietician, but I’ve done some homework, and my two takeaways have been more protein and more fiber in midlife.
These two adjustments in my daily diet changed how I thought about and prepared meals… and had a lot to do with why My Midlife Table exists in the first place.
Instead of restriction, I started thinking about providing my body with what it actually needed and developing recipes to help me get more protein and fiber throughout the day. And girl, did this ever help. Protein for satiety and muscle strength. Fiber for steadier energy throughout the day and for incredible digestive support. You cannot even imagine how regular I’ve become. Like, wow!
Reading Every Day
Is it strange to say that I love reading but that I’ve never been a voracious reader? It’s true, though. I love reading, but there have been stretches of my life that I rarely picked up a book. In the last few years, though, that’s changed. Now, I try and read something every day… not because I'm trying to read a certain number of books or because I’m trying to optimize myself but because reading helps me slow down, get out of my own head and borrow wisdom from others.
Not that I don’t enjoy a good thriller or light-hearted beach read, but lately I’m really into learning a thing or two. A few recent reads have been Abundant Ever After, a reread of The Alchemist, a daily devotional, and You Are A Badass. As Jen Sincero said, “If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.” Yup, that one hit home.
For much of my life, I would get frustrated with myself for not reading more consistently. Of course, life gets busy, but what I figured out is that sometimes a single paragraph can take just a few minutes and give me more perspective, more joy, more clarity than a pointless hour of scrolling.
Focus on the conditions and let the
outcomes take care of themselves.
God Before Internet
This one may be the biggest. Scratch that… this one IS the biggest. It doesn’t always look the same, but it usually looks something like one of these: a morning prayer before my feet hit the ground, reading Scripture and/or my daily devotional (as mentioned above), and sometimes it's simply sitting quietly while imagining myself breathing in divine light.
I've noticed that when I start with God instead of outside noise, everything else tends to feel a little more grounded on the inside, and I don’t let the external world dictate or shape my day.
If you like, you can borrow this simple morning prayer from me. I start my days with this: “I greet this day with love, gratitude and trust in my heart.” Sometimes I keep it as brief as that, and sometimes it turns into a full blown conversation with God, but it always sets a beautiful tone for my day.
Everyday Self-Care
I've come to appreciate the importance of everyday self-care for my nervous system. And no, I don't mean daily spa appointments or a luxurious getaway every weekend. I’m talking about little things I can do for myself on a regular basis that bring more happiness, joy, peace, and calm into an otherwise ordinary day.
Yes, a mani-pedi is wonderful (note to self: book them more often, Sue, because once every three years is not enough). But so is a bubble bath with a candle, my favorite music playing while I cook, a slow morning walk, fresh flowers on the table, or a quiet cup of coffee before everyone else wakes up.
This summer, I signed up for a local CSA flower share. Every week, I'll come home with fresh flowers grown just a few miles away that I hand-pick straight from the field myself. That feels like some pretty special self-care, if you ask me.
Paying Attention to Added Sugar
When it comes to sugar, awareness can be so powerful. Especially paying attention to “added sugar” on the nutrition label. I’m one of those ‘don’t over-obsess about it” types, but intentionally lowering my added sugars intake helped me make smarter choices and feel so much better. I’m not aiming for perfection, whatever that is (I hate that word), and it's not always easy at my house because my husband's middle name might as well be Honey Bun.
I still enjoy foods I love, but when I’m recipe developing or preparing a meal, intentionally less sugar has made a world of difference – fewer cravings, fewer energy crashes, and a steadier mood throughout the day.
Strength Training
I think we all know how important strength training is during midlife (and beyond). I also know I haven't been nearly as consistent with it as I should be. I'm not a gym person. If I have to drive more than 10 minutes to work out, it doesn't tend to happen. But for whatever reason, I've let that become a mental roadblock instead of figuring out a way to make strength training work for me.
So, I'm changing that. I recently invested in a beginner strength-training program designed for women who want to train at home with minimal equipment (hello... that's me!). What appealed to me most wasn't just the workouts. It starts at the beginning, teaches proper form and progression, and takes some of the guesswork out of what to do and how to keep going.
I'm just getting started, so I'll share more once I've actually spent some time with it and have something meaningful to say. No reviews from me just yet.
Letting Things Take Longer
One lesson that continues to surprise me is learning to let things take longer. This has not been easy. I've spent much of my life believing that progress should happen faster, goals should happen faster, and that I should somehow be further along than I am. Spoiler alert – I’m a late bloomer, and things that I’ve wanted have tended to come to me later in life. You know what they say about God’s timing! I probably should have trusted that sooner.
Fortunately, I've been learning that lesson now (better late than never) and un-learning the need to rush, force, and control every outcome. I don’t want to rush my life any longer, and I now take time when I’m making decisions, responding to opportunities, or building something meaningful (like My Midlife Table). Sometimes the work isn't pushing harder or finding a shortcut. It's simply continuing to show up… and again, this has done wonders for my nervous system because that old anxious feeling that used to pop up more frequently is no friend of mine.
This Isn't Everything
This isn't everything, and though it's most days, it’s definitely not always. There are plenty of days when I don't get enough protein, skip a walk, spend too much time on my phone, or feel like life (and my bedroom) is a little messier than I'd like it to be. But these are the habits I keep returning to – the ones that help me create the conditions for my body, mind, and spirit to feel more like myself. They made a bigger difference than I expected, not because they were dramatic, but because I return to them again and again.
Small things. Big difference.
