Naming Things Out Loud: When My Body Started Changing

April 1, 2026

Before I get started, let me ask you a question. Have you ever had someone glance at your stomach, then look at you with a little smile and excitedly ask “are congratulations in order?” or you could just tell they were wondering? If the answer is yes, then 1) I am sorry that happened to you and 2) I am right there with you.

Years before my son was born, shortly after my husband and I had gotten married, I put on a little bit of post-wedding weight – not a lot, just a little in my mid-section. So, I’m at work one day, and this older, maternal-type coworker stops me as I’m walking past her office. She knows that I’m just dying to get pregnant and start a family, and she calls me into her office and says/asks, “Congratulations!?”. “For what?”, I respond. And then she looks at my belly! "Oh, dear Lord", I think, she thinks I’m pregnant. (Insert internal tears, but I’m not going to let it get to me, I tell myself.) “Nope, I just put on a little weight”, I replied, as I casually continued on past her office, putting an end to the awkward conversation.

At that time, I wasn’t sad about someone noticing some extra weight; I was devastated because I wasn’t, in fact, pregnant. Fortunately, there’s a happy ending to that several-year-long story. But that familiar, dreaded feeling of “do they think I’m pregnant?” resurfaced again in recent years when I started to feel like I looked five months pregnant when that was nowhere near the case – and that’s what this story is actually about!

Let me just set the record straight as well – I had my first and only child when I was already, in fact, in midlife. So, when it came to my stomach, I was never quite sure if the extra weight around my middle came from baby weight, being around (ahem, eating) lots of yummy food because of my job as a food photographer or something else!

Whatever the reason, I tried all of the things that I had always done – that had always worked before – in my younger adult years (reduced calories, fewer carbs, lots and lots of cardio), but it just wasn’t working this time, my body was NOT responding. Apart from possibly, actually gaining more weight, the only thing I noticed that was being affected was my psyche… and not for the better. The harder I tried, the worse I felt… emotionally.

I always prided myself on being someone that could figure things out and get the job done, but not this time. I realized I was reaching for flowy tops more than usual, and it was going on a year to a year and a half of what in the hell is going on here?!

I even, for just a brief moment, considered that maybe food photography wasn’t a great career path for me if I couldn’t figure out how to lose the weight in my middle (yes, some extra arm flab, too, but mostly in my mid-section). That thought was fleeting though because 1) I love what I do and 2) I really love food. I’ve always had a healthy relationship with it, and I wasn’t about to let that change, plus I wasn’t about to give up on finding a way.

It was right around that time that I was scrolling on the ‘gram. I don’t know exactly how the algorithm works (content collection, prediction modeling, or maybe it’s listening to us), but a sponsored post popped into my feed that used a phrase I’d never seen or heard before, and it literally stopped me in my (scrolling) tracks. It was this one little hyphenated word: meno-belly. I had never heard of it, but suddenly I knew. That was it. It wasn’t post-partum pregnancy belly, it wasn’t my chosen career – it was menopause.

And now – now I had something to work with. I didn’t know exactly how or exactly when, but I knew I had some missing data to work with, a missing piece to my midlife puzzle, and that I’d now be able to figure this out – or was at least going to give it my all.

I exhaled. I could finally unbrace.

But something important, something really, really important happened in that Insta’scroll Aha! moment… I exhaled! I could finally unbrace (more on un-bracing coming soon). There was a tremendous (and I mean gigantic) amount of emotional release in that moment. It was no longer “I can’t figure this out”, “why are the old ways not working?”, “what am I doing wrong?”, “Is it always going to be like this?”. Those thoughts evaporated in one big collective breath.

My husband, God love my husband. Never, and I mean never, not once, ever, never has that man ever made me feel less than – not less beautiful, not less sexy, not less desirable, not less anything. He’s always made it very clear, even in the middle of those “what the hell is going on with my stomach, why can’t I lose this weight” moments, that he loves me… and my body… no matter what!

Regardless, as soon as I saw that little hyphenated phrase, I ran right to him and excitedly told him “I know what it is now. I have a meno-belly!” If memory serves me correctly, I think he looked at me confused and just laughed a little, but his face said that he knew what I knew, which is that I was on the precipice of creating change and the outcome I desired.

So what did I do? Well, for starters, I took pressure off myself, I stopped blaming myself or making myself feel badly for not being able to get the job done. That mental shift was the best first step I could have done. It freed me up emotionally and paved the way for doing things in a new way, unlearning what I thought I knew and setting the stage (er, table) for a new path forward – a calmer and gentler path forward.

I started reading. I started listening. I started absorbing. I started applying. I took what was scientifically backed, combined that with what my mental, emotional and spiritual wellness craved, and I stayed consistent. Essentially, I created the conditions in my life that resulted in the outcomes that I desired. No forcing, no urgency, no pressure. Just consistent self-care and self-love.

OK, OK, so what did I really do? I know what it’s like to read an article and feel left wondering, “but what did you really do? Like, details, please”. So, ok, I’ll get a little more specific, but puh-lease, for the love of God and everything that is good, keep in mind that I am not your doctor, and I’m not a registered dietician. I’m a woman in midlife who’s been doing her best to figure it out by putting together my own pillars of wellness – the things (conditions) that I believe and/or know to be true for my wellbeing in midlife and beyond.

I didn’t overhaul everything overnight, but I started paying attention to a few things. I started focusing on more protein and fiber – every single day. I intentionally reduced my sugar and alcohol (sorry, wine and margaritas and espresso martinis; I still love you but just every once in a while, now). I add mineral salts to my water so that the H2O is actually replenishing my body. I eat supportive snacks and take some necessary essential vitamins and minerals (not every supplement under the sun). And I do some timed eating, although I know this draws a lot of controversy, so I again repeat that I am not your health practitioner and have been doing what works for me.

For movement, I do less cardio now (much less) but lots of walking – nice long walks (sometimes alone, sometimes with the fam) and often after dinner. I’m working on getting more consistent with weights, and I do love me some kettlebells. I’m also shifting myself to an earlier bedtime – though this is a hard, old habit to break, and I’m still a work in progress. My mom was a night owl, rarely going to bed before midnight. Sometimes I wonder how much that shaped my own tendency to stay up late.

And, I’ve become besties with my nervous system by doing much, much more self-care. That’s looked like slow mornings, meditation, soothing baths, buying myself flowers, qigong for beginners and playing Uno (yes, Uno)… aka having more fun and less stress in my life. And, for me, last but certainly not least, time with God through prayer and conversations throughout the day. Oh, and one more thing – gratitude. Lots and lots of gratitude, which ties directly back to God.

I can’t say if it was one thing more than another, most likely all of it combined, but I lost 20-ish pounds in about 2-4 months’ time. I say -ish and about because I’m not rigid about getting on the scale, and I haven’t been hyper-focused on the calendar.

But, after a while, I did notice this… my clothes started to fit better, I felt lighter (but the kind of lighter that was more emotional than physical), and I started to feel like I was back in my own skin (not just jeans) again. Not perfect, not exactly where I’d love to be, and I still have a bit of a meno-belly (not going to lie and not going for six pack abs anymore either – thank God), but all in all, I steadily became a happier, more satisfied version of me – on the inside and out.

And, remember that child I told you about? Well, my son likes to lay his head on my belly when he’s cuddling up with me on the couch. Sometimes he even pushes on it because it’s a bit squishy, and he finds that to be funny. I used to tell him to stop because it was an emotional trigger, but now, I just look at him sideways and laugh, too. I mean, he came out of there, and he’s the greatest joy in my life, so it can’t be that bad, right? Stomach badge of honor and all.

Now, before I close this thing out, I do want to say a special thank you to the countless women that have gone before me – committing themselves to figuring this all out, through research and lived-experience and wisdom. Truly, you’re all amazing, and you have inspired me to the nth degree.

And to you, the woman sitting there on her computer, reading this right now – if you feel even the slightest bit of “me too”, then this is for you! There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not alone. You are beautiful no matter what. We’re in this together.